I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??