I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Dating After Heartbreak
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Can I color on your dick again?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.