Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.