Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots