You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.