I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records