For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.