this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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