his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
