I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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