is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
