Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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