Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
