is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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