Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
