i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
