Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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