I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
