I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
