just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
