So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
