I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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