watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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