You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
whose ass print is on the piano?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
