you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
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I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
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I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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