where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
