We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
