well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
