i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
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Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize