Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
