sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
