i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
