it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
