she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Your penis caused this!
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