hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
