Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
