He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
