I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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