the day after is always just damage control
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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