this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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