How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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