i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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