You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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