a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize