why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
