It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
