Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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