Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
