She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
