i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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