This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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