Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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