My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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