You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
