I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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