I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
