You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
bring money and cleavage
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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