Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
