Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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