im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
