And the cops told us we were all naked.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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