i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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