ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Hippo gnu deer
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Who died my cat blue again?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
