You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
we're so committed to being not committed
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
