So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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