Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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