OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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