so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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