Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
