Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
