I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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