i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
